id Miss Cleo see it coming? We often wonder why self-proclaimed psychics who claim paranormal powers of insight, don't win the Power Ball Lottery, or place more successful bets on the World Series, or for that matter are not banned from Las Vegas casinos. We occasionally hear of misfortune befalling these paranormal poseurs, such as the recent incident where a fallen tree crashed into the house of a "psychic advisor" during a recent storm. A little insight, and the "advisor" could have hoofed it to the nearest Home Depot or Sears, and purchased a chain saw to forestall both calamity and an insurance claim.

   We wonder, then, if Miss Cleo, a woman in garish costume and questionable accent who graces the ad slots of cable television, could foresee Wednesday's action where she is accused of violating New York's "Do Not Call" telemarketing laws more than 100 times in the past seven months.

   According to a report issued by the New York Consumer Protection Board, Miss Cleo's outfit -- the Psychic Readers Network -- has been engaging in illegal and unethical practices, and faces a maximum fine of $224,000. For the record, Miss Cleo is really a woman named Youree Cleomili Harris; and the recent investigation into her telemarketing company and yesterday's report may account for why she has been appearing in her ads recently denouncing those who are persecuting and "jabbing" at her for her "beliefs."

   Appropriately, the report on Miss Cleo and other shadowy practices was issued at a Halloween Press Conference, and was aptly titled "Dialing for Dollars." Among the charges:

   ¶    "Psychic" callers violated the "Do Not Call" Telemarketing Registry, which prohibits unsolicited calls from marketers at certain hours, and bans companies from making aggressive, confusing sales pitches over the phone. With the proliferation of annoying calls, more than 2 million people have signed on to the Registry.

   ¶    Miss Cleo's company is generating more than $300 million a year. "The questionable tactics used to generate phone calls to one of dozens of toll-free phone lines is just one piece of an overall pattern of business practices that may mislead consumers," says the report.

   ¶    Callers seeking a "free reading" from a "psychic" are instead directed to a 900 phone number "and potentially hundreds of dollars in phone bills."

   ¶    Miss Cleo's television commercials "may mislead the public into calling toll-free numbers to learn 'urgent' information. When they finally get to the so-called 'psychic,' the experience may not be as dramatic as the 'readings' demonstrated by 'Miss Cleo' in her television ads."

   Indeed, Miss Cleo's promotional ads -- which note "for entertainment purposes" in small type at the bottom of the screen -- suggest astounding powers. She intimates that she can divine the identity of an illegitimate child's father, knows that a woman is biting her nails, or that a particular caller "will be back in court within 21 days!"

   ¶   Sorry, Miss Cleo is not answering the phone personally; rather, calls are directed to a telephone network of "stay-at-home-psychics'" who work hard to keep callers on the phone -- and the phone tab going -- so that they average at least fifteen minutes worth of call-time revenue.

   ¶    Most disappointing for those who believe they may be receiving a custom "reading" from a person with paranormal powers, the "Dialing for Dollars" report notes: "Stay-at-home 'pschics' may read from scripts to help them perform. The goal is to keep the caller on the line for as long as possible."

   ¶    A "Free reading" is promised in many ads, but the desired information often requires a much longer call. "Dialing for Dollars" includes one document which gives advice from a psychic hot line manger to one of her "readers" that includes strategies for stretching out the time of the call. Asking for personal information such as names, zip codes and addresses, along with e-mail addresses helps, but other methods include persuading clients "to grab a paper and pencil, settle themselves in a quiet room BY THEMSELVES -- no one around to disturb us -- AND to TURN OFF THE TV/RADIO/Stereo. They usually have to shift around and get all this accomplished... that takes about 30 seconds to a minute for them to get situated."

   Thus, says the report, "The 'free' time during the 900 call is generally used to gather names, telephone numbers and address, not to give a 'psychic' reading. Many people unexpectedly find themselves facing hundreds of dollars in phone bills after calling for a 'free reading.' "

   It's not just people calling "Miss Cleo" in response to her TV ads, though, who are victims of the telemarketing scam. CPB executive director C. Adrienne Rhodes told reporters that many New Yorkers have been bombarded with multiple recorded cold calls soliciting business for Miss Cleo's psychic services. When they then call the free 800 number, they are informed that no such free "readings" are given there, and that the "psychics" can be reached only on the 900 lines.

   Investigators charge other questionable tactics as well, including the use of E-mails to prospective callers. In one message, the recipient was exhorted to call a number to discuss a "serious health problem."

   "Who knows how many people may have been scared into calling this phony psychic service?," asked Ms. Rhodes.

   The full "Dialing for Dollars" report can be found on line at http://www.consumer.state.ny.us/

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