Post details: Universal Health Insurance for Jesus Freaks Only

05/24/07

Permalink 10:31:17 am, Categories: Announcements [A], 36 words   English (US)

Universal Health Insurance for Jesus Freaks Only

Another in a line of great Onion stories. See what we are missing? The Jesus Universal Health Insurance Plan described in the link to the title of this post.

Pretty much says it all.
Peter Nuhn

Comments:

Comment from: rayden [Member]
Not surprised are you?
I did not see a contact you button or anything so I'll just leave this link here. You will probably want to say something about it. http://www.tennessean.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070521/COLUMNIST0301/705210325
Permalink 05/24/07 @ 10:51
Comment from: karen [Member]
Yep. You gets what you pays fer.

But why does anyone with Jay-sus in his/her life need any ol' doctor or hospital anyway? Why not jes' let Jay-sus do the healin'?
Permalink 05/24/07 @ 10:58
Comment from: bud [Member]
hay. change that from health "insurance" to health "care" and you got something. praaaaaaze jeeeeezus

anyone notice the "not for people under the age of 18???"
Permalink 05/24/07 @ 11:02
Comment from: What [Member]
But don't the religious think that disease is an act of gawd? So that's one act of gawd puts you in the hospital and one gets you out. Hmm? Ah! But gawd giveth and taketh away. So what's up with the middleman physician? And why does gawd allow chiropracters to handle claims at all?
Permalink 05/24/07 @ 11:10
Comment from: imaskeptic [Member]
if you have jesus...why do you need health insurance? he wouldn't strike down a believer would he? as a physician i am feeling a great amount of pride as i have done less harm than jesus...and i know i've done more good...i won't accept their health insurance at my clinic..then..imagine the protracted howls of damnation aimed my way, here in the constipated christian bowels of america(indiana)
Permalink 05/24/07 @ 13:02
Comment from: Jacob23 [Member]
Hi resident troll here.

This is not totally related to this thread but I just thought you guys might get a laugh out of this article.

"The New York archdiocese has received a record-breaking gift of $22.5 million from an atheist.

Robert Wilson, a retired financier, has given the sum-- the largest single donation ever recorded by the Church in New York-- to a program that will pay tuition for needy children attending New York's parochial schools.

Explaining his decision to make the grant to a Catholic charity, Wilson pointed out that his money would be used to pay for the education of children, rather than for specifically religious purposes.

While he is not religious, Wilson indicated a deep respect for the Catholic faith. "Let's face it," he told a reporter: "without the Roman Catholic Church there would be no Western civilization." "

http://www.cwnews.com/news/viewstory.cfm?recnum=51344
Permalink 05/24/07 @ 14:26
Comment from: BibleBeltBoy [Member]
"without the Roman Catholic Church there would be no Western civilization." " .... OR Dead Men on a Stick for that matter :)
Permalink 05/24/07 @ 14:59
Comment from: imaskeptic [Member]
without western civilization(rome and greece) there would be no catholics
Permalink 05/24/07 @ 15:00
Comment from: CAB4reason [Member]
How about this news?

Christ Returns to the NBA

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/50097

(I'm still choking on my egg roll laughing at the pic.)
Permalink 05/24/07 @ 15:12
Comment from: imaskeptic [Member]
LOL
Permalink 05/24/07 @ 15:15
Comment from: SunMostHigh [Member]
BibleBeltBoy - I wrote/recorded a freethought song called "Man On A Stick". You can hear it on my "Sun Most High" CD at
http://www.garageband.com/artist/SunMostHigh

Also, regarding the Onion article: The Onion is satire written to make fun of stuff, and it is funny, I guess. But I'd MUCH RATHER read REAL/TRUE LIFE stories of Christian idiots making such claims, you know? Just my thoughts.
Permalink 05/24/07 @ 16:01
Comment from: karen [Member]
Loved the Christ returns to the NBA Onion article.
That led me to this one
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/area_pagan_dreading_big_family

About the problematic pagan family get-together. :)
Permalink 05/24/07 @ 16:15
Comment from: wisconsinatheist [Member]
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Finally something worth reading!

The onion is a great satire paper. Good thing I can pick it up here for free and read it when I want.
Permalink 05/24/07 @ 16:18
Comment from: BibleBeltBoy [Member]
SunMostHigh ... you are the man! That is super ...... can I download it onto my mp3 player without incurring the wrath of the RIAA gods? :)
Permalink 05/24/07 @ 16:22
Comment from: SunMostHigh [Member]
BibleBeltBoy - yes you can download it for free, and my other 9 freethought songs, too, if you like.
Thanks for the comment.
Permalink 05/24/07 @ 16:36
Comment from: evilatheistconquerer [Member]
This reminds me of the episode of X-Files that was on last night/this morning. They were making fun of the christian families that refuse medical care for their kids on religious grounds. I don't see why the state doesn't step in on those cases and take the kids away. Isn't that abuse? Or have they stepped in before on those cases?
Permalink 05/24/07 @ 16:46
Comment from: karen [Member]
SunMostHigh
I listened to all your songs on the site.
A little too pop/country/easy listening sounding for me, but I did like the Amazing Grace spinoff and the tribute to Madalyn was pretty cool too.
Permalink 05/24/07 @ 16:47
Comment from: SunMostHigh [Member]
Karen - Thanks for your kind comments!
Permalink 05/24/07 @ 16:51
Comment from: evilatheistconquerer [Member]
Hmm. I wonder if the Jesus Healthcare Plan covers plastic surgery. "And Jesus paid for my new boobs. Aren't they just great? I call this one Holy Spirit and this one The Son." (Warning: The Jesus Healthcare Plan does not cover hymen restoration surgery, you heathen whore!)
Permalink 05/24/07 @ 16:56
Comment from: karen [Member]
evil
It is well established that Jesus likes boobs. He has a large following of them, and always wants his following to be enlarged.
BUT
The Jesus Healthcare Plan will NOT cover a reversal of a circumcision.
So don't even ask, guys.
Permalink 05/24/07 @ 17:04
Comment from: Peter [Member] · http://www.godlessamericans.org/
EAC wrote: "This reminds me of the episode of X-Files that was on last night/this morning. They were making fun of the christian families that refuse medical care for their kids on religious grounds. I don't see why the state doesn't step in on those cases and take the kids away. Isn't that abuse? Or have they stepped in before on those cases?"

Actually, there is a doctor who runs an outfit that is trying to get state governments to pass laws to reverse their existing laws that make it legal for parents to deny medical care for their children on the basis of religion, i.e., if God tells you to murder your child, then the states say great, go for it.
Permalink 05/24/07 @ 17:19
Comment from: karen [Member]
Peter,
Just to be clear, this doctor wants it to be illegal for parents to say, microwave their baby?
Permalink 05/24/07 @ 17:28
Comment from: Charlie [Member]
Ya Just gotta luv The Onion

and just feel sorry for phreedy

Karen Rules
Permalink 05/24/07 @ 17:32
Comment from: karen [Member]
Hi Charlie!

Thanks.

Love you too!
Permalink 05/24/07 @ 17:35
Comment from: Charlie [Member]
I appreciate ur luv Karen.......

I only wish for those god fearing assholes to luv each others gods as well....


Permalink 05/24/07 @ 17:58
Comment from: evilatheistconquerer [Member]
Peter,
That reminds me of this old 60 Minutes episode about Jehovah's Witnesses and custody battles. Basically, wives would become Jehovah's Witnesses and divorce their husbands because they didn't become JWs so then they had the custody battle. The husbands would argue that the JW mothers wouldn't allow their kids to participate in school activities like dances, sports, and holiday parties and would make them only talk to other JWs so they (the husbands) should get the kid. The court would then have to argue about religious freedom, that since they aren't allowing the kids to do that because of religious reasons, they can't rule on that factor alone.

So why not? Why should religion then be brought into it at all? It's about how the kid will be brought up and the opportunities they will be given and allowed to have. If one parent won't allow the kid to have certain opportunities, then shouldn't the kid be given to the parent that will allow them and encourage them to take those opportunities?
Permalink 05/24/07 @ 18:01
Comment from: imaskeptic [Member]
charlie and karen...get a room :)
Permalink 05/24/07 @ 20:33
Comment from: karen [Member]
imaskeptic

"get a room"

But I want phreedm to watch...! ;-)



Anyway, charlie and I are just buddies; I just hadn't shouted out any love to him in a long while.
Permalink 05/24/07 @ 21:41
Comment from: reason [Member]
imaskeptic were you atheist before you became a doctor.do you see any particular trend in healthcare citizens should worry about.
Permalink 05/24/07 @ 22:33
Comment from: Barbiebrains [Member]
Will this cover crucifixion accidents? Crown-of-thorns mishaps? Homedepot has a special on two by fours and drills...ouch!!
In Latin America and the Philippines, extreme-Christians crucify themselves on Good Friday...this Jesus-healthcare coverage just may come in handy...
Permalink 05/24/07 @ 22:37
Comment from: alexatheist [Member]
Angry Atheist Authors
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070524/ap_on_re_us/atheist_authors;_ylt=Ar2cxTS2wR.znF2EJ6jBQxDMWM0F
Permalink 05/24/07 @ 22:49
Comment from: spanders [Member]
off topic, but I figured you might enjoy:
http://www.workingforchange.com/comic.cfm?itemid=22292

enjoy some archives:
http://www.workingforchange.com/column_lst.cfm?AuthrId=43
Permalink 05/25/07 @ 00:23
Comment from: What [Member]
NYTimes/CBS News Poll


Six in 10 Americans surveyed say the United States should have stayed out of Iraq, and more than 75% say that things are going badly there. The remaining 25% said they can't for the grand opening of the Creationist Museum in Kentucky.


Not much of a stretch eh?

Permalink 05/25/07 @ 00:47
Comment from: What [Member]
That was supposed by be "can't wait for the grand ...". Jeeebus
Permalink 05/25/07 @ 00:49
Comment from: septos [Member]
If 25% can't wait for the grand opening,that puts 75% dont know or dont care. It's bad but not hopeless.

The first gregorian chent was "The world is flat , haallleeellll-aaaaaa-aaaa-uuuuuuuu-ahhhhhhh."
Permalink 05/25/07 @ 07:10
Comment from: Peter [Member] · http://www.godlessamericans.org/
Karen

One of the most serious condemnations of religious organizations comes from examples of child abuse and neglect that include severe beatings, rejection of medical care, starvation, forced marriages, child labor, slavery, isolation, exorcism rituals, and sexual molestation as religious practices. The following information was obtained from Children’s Healthcare is a Legal Duty, Inc. (CHILD, Inc.)

CHILD, Inc. reports that the following religious organizations engage in the practice of rejection of medical care:

Faith Assembly
Followers of Christ
Christian Science
Church of the First Born
Faith Tabernacle
End Time Ministries
The Believers’ Fellowship
Faith Temple Doctoral Church of Christ in God
Church of God Chapel
Jehovahs’ Witnesses (forbids blood transfusions)
Jesus through Jon and Judy
Christ Assembly
Christ Miracle Health Center
Northeast Kingdom Community Church
“No Name” fellowship
The Source


“Amy Hermanson, 7, died in 1986 in Sarasota, Florida. A talented little girl, she took piano, violin, harp, and art lessons, and excelled in academic subjects also. Many teachers and employees at her mother's business observed Amy's weight loss and lethargy over a four-week period, but did not report to Child Protection Services (CPS). They did not know she had diabetes. Some assumed the parents were providing medical treatment. One employee said she did not report to CPS because she knew the Hermansons were Christian Scientists and they were "signing [her] paycheck." A neighbor urged her mother to take her to a doctor, but the mother refused. A few minutes later, Amy crawled in from another room on her hands and knees and begged her mother to take her home. Her aunt said that she was incoherent and unable to focus her eyes the day before she died.

The Hermansons were convicted of felony child abuse and third-degree murder. In 1992, however, the Florida Supreme Court overturned their conviction on fair notice grounds. Citing a religious exemption in Florida's civil code, the Court said, "The statutes have created a trap that the legislature should address." Nine years later, however, the Florida legislature still has not done so.” (http://www.childrenshealthcare.org/)

This is why I was so disgusted over all the Christian crocodile tears that flowed over Schiavo. The Christians are clearly responsible for the law above that made it legal to kill 6 year old Amy, while they work disgustingly to keep a brain dead woman alive. That is my definition of insanity...

By the way, I learned about this organization and saw the doctor that heads it when I attended an American Atheists Convention. A really good reason for joining American Atheists.
Permalink 05/25/07 @ 08:35
Comment from: karen [Member]
Peter
i understand.
I was just not clear in your original post on which side the doctor was- if he was fighting for the crazy xians or for sanity.
Permalink 05/25/07 @ 09:16
Comment from: imaskeptic [Member]
i was an atheist in a catholic high school....then an atheist in vietnam foxholes...then an atheist doctor...many doctors are heathens but won't admit it...money trumps all(even religion) in medicine and medical research...med schools though are encouraging doctors to pray with their patients if they ask,but i'd rather pick cotton for 6 months than pretend-pray for 6 minutes...i have to file their insurance and they send god cash!!!
Permalink 05/25/07 @ 15:56
Comment from: reason [Member]
thanks for response imaskeptic.i did not become atheist until adulthood my background was methodist they are good people i just came to the view that the facts don't support supernatural.maybe i am wrong but it seems that many atheists are either catholic or jewish in background.as a practical matter i don't see a real big gap between mainline protestants and atheists.
Permalink 05/25/07 @ 20:50
Comment from: DD Dropout [Member]
One of my favourite hobby horses.

If the bible were literally true, then at least for illness, there would be no need for doctors or antibiotics. Mark 16:18 says that any who believe in Jesus will be able to heal the sick by the laying on of hands.

How does my literalist friend handle that? Allegory. Literal allegory, I suppose.
Permalink 05/26/07 @ 00:48
Comment from: cry4turtles [Member]
"So why not? Why should religion then be brought into it at all?"

EAC-You'd be surprised how judges pander to the parent that promises to provide for "spiritual needs" in custody hearings. It's enough to make one sick.
Permalink 05/26/07 @ 09:13
Comment from: imaskeptic [Member]
i agree that many atheists are ex-catholics and jews...some of that may be that they receive on average a better(more years past middle school) education? not a fact...just asking...although episcopalians certainly have their share of non-believers in my experience
Permalink 05/26/07 @ 12:07
Comment from: imaskeptic [Member]
p.s. almost nobody needs antibiotics ...religion or no...they are , in america, given to cry-baby patients who think they know everything(even though they're 12 years shy of a medical degree), to shut them up(not by me)...very soon the churches will be packed by these very whiners praying to their Great Healer for a cure for the "mysterious" antibiotic resistant staph infections that are killing their children and grandparents...already a 35% surge in deaths over the last 2 years!!!...
Permalink 05/26/07 @ 12:17
Comment from: What [Member]
imaskeptic

You can hardly blame patients for the over-prescription of antibiotics. Most children diagnosed with otitis media don't really have the infection (at least not bacterial) yet pediatricians offer up gram positive antibiotics before the typical patient can say "otitis what?". Go to a
family practice doc for a sore throat and there is a high probability that your going to get a Dx of strep throat and Tx with antibiotics without a culture ever being done. No it is hardly just a patient problem or even mostly so.

And what's with all the ellipsis dots. Are you channeling Phreedy Le Phreek?
Permalink 05/27/07 @ 03:29

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