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Post details: Cure for Homosexuality, Masturbation

03/14/08

10:18:48 am, Categories: Announcements [A], 43 words

Cure for Homosexuality, Masturbation

http://www.eunicure.com/

Pesky testicles causing you to have sinful thoughts?

CUT THEM OFF! FREE!

There are many things of which I am sure, and this is one: Heaven would be hell without my balls!

Not a bad idea for preachers though...

37 comments

Comments:

Comment from: alexatheist [Member]

This is satire, right?
Sometimes with religion it's difficult to tell.

03/14/08 @ 11:31

Comment from: IdahoEv [Member]

This has to be a joke. But they have actual email addresses on their contact page.

I'm going to look around for other evidence ... this can't be real.

03/14/08 @ 12:38

Comment from: IdahoEv [Member]

Sex advice columnist Dan Savage investigated and despite talking to their supposed "PR Liason" on the phone, concludes that they are a hoax:

first thoughts and follow-up and conclusion.

03/14/08 @ 12:49

Comment from: IdahoEv [Member]

Oops, last post stripped out my links. I'll try again:

Dan's thoughts: http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/03/if_your_right_hand_causes_you_to_sin_cut

03/14/08 @ 12:51

Comment from: sword_strike [Member]

The thing is, when you have to investigate because it could very well NOT be a hoax, it just shows how wierd things can get when people believe in fairy tales.

03/14/08 @ 13:24

Comment from: rna2dna [Member]

From the Christ-ian surgical web site:

Plus I can now feel Jesus beating in my heart.

So the Jesus has taken to beating his heart now, why didn't it think of that earlier, what a sadistic little creature it is.

Beat it, suck it, the Jesus Christ is all over it, in the end.

03/14/08 @ 13:58

Comment from: quantum_flux [Member]

This is much worse than physician assisted suicide. Maybe the thing that needs to be cut off is their faith based government funding instead! Or maybe they should move to the Middle East and market there service as a cure for impure thoughts so that the Muslims stop breeding.

03/14/08 @ 14:06

Comment from: quantum_flux [Member]

Look at the picture of the guy who does the surgeries and tell me he isn't as gay as it gets.... he's just taunting his ex-patients by giving them the thumbs up (up there asses that is).

03/14/08 @ 14:09

Comment from: (: tom :) [Member] · http://www.funnyfarmonline.org/

I think satire was indicated when they thanked Fred Phelps and Westboro Baptist for the inspiration. It is very hard to tell these days whether this is real or not. Didn't the Raelians do something similar when they thought they were going to be meeting the Comet Gods?

Plus, correct me if you have additional information: cutting off the testicles does not truly stop the sociopath from engaging in violent sexual crimes. It only stops them from potentially creating nine months worth of problems when engaging in sex with women. Wasn't that murderer/rapist that the Huckster released from prison able to rape and kill after they castrated him?

03/14/08 @ 14:10

Comment from: Ankhkaser [Member]

This faq question kind of makes me think the site is fake.

Q. My ex-wife, mother, lover etc. wants to watch the procedure as it takes place, Is that allowed?

That depends on of the local surgeon performing the operation and the local hospital. Some allow visitors during such procedures and some prefer to maintain a sterile environment.

03/14/08 @ 15:21

Comment from: sword_strike [Member]

I think you’re right (: tom :).

If the criminal is after sexual gratification, this will eliminate the urge.

However, most psychopaths like being in control, to have power over someone. Including the power to end a life. Cutting off the balls won't change a thing for them.

03/14/08 @ 15:46

Comment from: quantum_flux [Member]

Whatever happened to deep brain stimulation so as to interfere with the urges when they come up, like rewriting a small program (hormone release command) in the main human computer (brain) instead of completely removing the mechanical equipment (balls and johnson)?

03/14/08 @ 16:25

Comment from: phreedm [Member]

Hmmm...on the previous thread Karen stated that Dave is out of town and Mrs. Dave deleted a post...

So...exactly who started this thread?

03/14/08 @ 17:21

Comment from: 3E8 [Member]

This site is so fake. It's kinda like that old site that had the "Atheist Goat" which got referenced all over the place by fellow atheists. It's pretty funny, but kinda scary too - because given folks like Westboro and Fred Phelps - if their followers happen to be surgeons, and take their beliefs seriously, there's little reason for such a website/service not to exist.

03/14/08 @ 17:21

Comment from: phreedm [Member]

And speaking of satire....

A Military Earmark's Ties to Obama Money Man

Sen. Barack Obama requested $8 million for a military defense contractor that has close ties to one of his most prodigious fundraisers.

http://blog.washingtonpost.com/the-trail/2008/03/13/a_military_earmarks_ties_to_th.html

Ren...r4d...

I told you time would show the "messiah's" true colors....

03/14/08 @ 17:25

Comment from: thx1138 [Member]

I can't believe how many of you think this site is real. It's satire. Duh.

03/14/08 @ 17:34

Comment from: alexatheist [Member]

Plus, correct me if you have additional information: cutting off the testicles does not truly stop the sociopath from engaging in violent sexual crimes

Snipping off your bollocks won't "cure" you of faggotry either since sexual orientation is all in the mind and is not what one does. A gay man can spend a lifetime married to a woman or as an asexual freak (just ask a catholic priest) but this doesn't mean that you are straight.

This article is satire anyway so in the end it is making my point for me. :-)

03/14/08 @ 17:43

Comment from: 3E8 [Member]

These satire sites must be making a lot of money by positioning a very extreme (but sadly credible) point o view which then gets forwarded all around. Each time someone clicks on one of its Google ads, that revenue goes into the pockets of the page-hosting 'satirists'.

Like I said before, its kind of funny but can also be misleading to folks who don't get the 'joke'. At least it gets us thinking about the issue.

03/14/08 @ 18:40

Comment from: mxracer652 [Member]

Am I the only dude who wouldn't mind being ball-less? Less junk to smash, and less mess after sex.

03/14/08 @ 22:44

Comment from: alexatheist [Member]

mxracer you are "nuts"-Bwahahaha!

03/14/08 @ 22:52

Comment from: Augustine [Member]

Bad christian taste contest: 1,2,3 go!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WoijF14Pf6g

03/14/08 @ 23:26

Comment from: What [Member]

Augustine

That was bad. Really bad. Can I get those six minutes of life back somehow? That video, like xian pop rock music, reminded me of how utterly unimaginative xians are.

03/14/08 @ 23:50

Comment from: sayonara [Member]

"I told you time would show the "messiah's" true colors....:

the only true colors showing around here consistently are yours, and they are the colors of a pitiful, blinded, superstitious geezer.

as for the topic at hand, if the pope told the flock that gawd commanded that this be done, then many would go along. so it isn't that far fetched to me at all even if the site is meant as a joke.

03/15/08 @ 00:28

Comment from: alexatheist [Member]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WoijF14Pf6g

Those are some loud fucking mutant bird's in Carman's neighbourhood.

03/15/08 @ 01:01

Comment from: What [Member]

Cure for Homosexuality, Masturb*tion

Does this mean the if others masturbate Alex will be cured? Phreeky's palms and schlong must be red and raw by now.

03/15/08 @ 01:35

Comment from: (: tom :) [Member] · http://www.funnyfarmonline.org/

Comment from: mxracer652

Am I the only dude who wouldn't mind being ball-less? Less junk to smash, and less mess after sex.

I am most certainly not interested in any sort of surgical instrument get near the crown jewels.

And, the site linked to in this post is particularly nerve-wracking, as are the times, because this sort of crap is very close to what is going on these days. It looks like satire to me - based on my previous visits to the Landover Baptist and Betty Bowers sites, it looks like another one of theirs. But if I didn't have that knowledge, I might just think they're real. There have been some who literally interpreted Matthew 19:12, "There are those who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven." (notably a teacher of one of the main religious schools in the early years of the christian cult). Who's to say what lengths they will go to in order to prove to themselves that they a re fervent enough in their beliefs?

Lastly: thanks, all - I was pretty sure that I remembered some famous cases of castrated males engaging in violent sexual crimes after they lost the nuggets.

03/15/08 @ 07:23

Comment from: mxracer652 [Member]

tom,
I have no interest in elective surgery, but say if it was necessary due to testicular cancer or some such, there would be no tears on my end.

03/15/08 @ 10:39

Comment from: pha [Member]

Anyone see the movie "hard candy"? If not, put it on your netflix queue. Without ruining the movie for you, it has something to do with getting your balls cut off.

03/15/08 @ 11:03

Comment from: alexatheist [Member]

Speaking of sex and the recent study of STDs among teen girls, I found this interesting article today about the fact that the AIDS rate has skyrocketed among young black males:

http://www.advocate.com/news_detail_ektid52723.asp

03/15/08 @ 15:42

Comment from: quantum_flux [Member]

The Big Lebowski comes to mind

03/15/08 @ 15:54

Comment from: rna2dna [Member]

I found this article where the gay community in Los Angeles has admitted that AIDS is a gay disease. Looks like homosexual men have a high rate of AIDS, 77%. It is a 2005 article but I don't find anything that suggests there has been a change.

http://www.lifesitenews.com/ldn/2006/
oct/06100404.html

I have a pot here but, at times it could be referred to as a kettle.

03/15/08 @ 17:22

Comment from: alexatheist [Member]

I have a pot here but, at times it could be referred to as a kettle.

Of course in America AIDS is primarily a gay male disease, I never said that it wasn't. Why do you think I'm so careful about who I have sex with? But the AIDS rate for white gay men here in an educated and affluent North Carolina university town is not the same as it is in the urban nightmare of inner city Los Angles.

Gay black men often live "on the down low" (having a girlfriend but secretly having sex with other men) which I think would account for an 80%(!) increase in AIDS among young black men whereas the rate is falling in most gay white communities. Religion and the macho thug black culture is in large part to blame for this number. Maybe they are the ones who should be cutting off their nuts.

03/15/08 @ 18:06

Comment from: phreedm [Member]

Religion and the macho thug black culture is in large part to blame for this number.

Hmmm...so it's not the black gay males fault? Good...it's always easier to blame someone else for your behavior...

By the way...it seems MRSA is just about to become an epidemic in the "white affluent" cities known as San Francisco and Boston...

http://www.annals.org/cgi/content/summary/148/4/249

Last month international media reported on a study showing that gay and bi men in Boston and San Francisco were at higher than average risk for acquiring a multi-drug resistant form of MRSA, which causes abscesses and ulcerations and which if left untreated can be life-threatening, and that among those men it may have been sexually transmitted.

http://www.edgeboston.com/index.php?ch=news&sc=glbt&sc2=features&sc3=&id=56565

I guess we can blame religion for this one too...

I did send an alert to Dave 2 months ago since there are a lot of gay individuals who frequent this site. I'm betting Dave didn't pass this information along to anyone...

03/15/08 @ 19:02

Comment from: TIME [Member]

A seriously Christian women catches her 12 year old boy having an experimental sexual encounter (like that determines he's homosexual) with another 12 year old boy.

Serious Christian mom, going by the bible, decides to have the boy castrated to save him from a life of homosexual sin.

This is seriously sick stuff. I know there is a parent out there somewhere, who would do just that.

How bad can religion screw up humans? Let me count the Billion's of ways.

03/15/08 @ 19:44

Comment from: rna2dna [Member]

Here's a story about mor(m)on christian gays that get into shocking treatment:

http://origin.sltrib.com/ci_8574767

03/15/08 @ 23:46

Comment from: FlyingWeasel [Member]

Hmmm...so it's not the black gay males fault? Good...it's always easier to blame someone else for your behavior...

well, it's their fault for buying into religion and thug culture, thereby precipitating a need to stay on the "down low" instead of settling in a monogamous gay relationship.

03/16/08 @ 12:13

Comment from: sharpshooter832 [Member]

that was the funniest, most ridiculous thing I have seen in a while :D
THANKS

03/16/08 @ 18:39

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